Kinship

Many of your comments reminded me of an Arab saying,
"Me and my brothers against my cousins, me and my cousins against the world."

Family relationships tend to be much stronger in other societies than in ours. And, that has a lot to do with the economy of a society. In a society like ours, based on a market economy, we sell our labor for money that we use to buy what we need. Therefore, we tend to identify ourselves by what we do for a living. One of the first questions that we are asked when we meet people is, "What do you do?" Professional networks are important to our social organization, as are political organizations, recreational groups, etc. Our lives are not so dependent on our families. That doesn't mean that family is not important. It is. It's just not as important to our careers, in our decisions about who we marry, or to how we vote.

In societies based on kinship, people are asked questions like, "Who are your parents?" (Although, since living in NC I have been asked, "Who are your people?" We still see emphasis on kinship in rural areas and small towns in the US) As we saw in the last section on marriage, in societies where family is so important, marriages are mechanisms to tie families together. Families also provide the basis for economic and political relationships. Kin groups care for and educate the children, provide for transmission of property and social position. In non-commercial societies, kin groups are those whom individuals depend on for aid. In these societies there are mutual rights and obligations that are much more defined than in our society. The difference between our society and non-commercial societies that are kin-based, is that we can choose not to participate in those relationships with our family and be just fine. We can get what we need in other places. We can pay for services. We can develop family-like relationships with non-family members. We have options. In non-commercial societies where kin groups provide the basis for social organization, there are few, if any, options. You are defined by society primarily as part of a family. Without that family, you have no identity. Therefore, those rights and obligations take on greater importance than in our society.

This week we saw another story from the Arab world that is tied to this importance of family.  Muammar Gaddafi, former dictator of Libya, was found in his hometown, just like Saddam Hussein in Iraq.  These men went to the place where they knew people, their family, would not turn on them. 

In our culture, relationships with in-laws are good examples of an area where conflict may arise between kin and non-kin. Think back to the discussion on marriage and particularly the issue of arranged marriages. In societies where marriages tie families together, the relationship between the families is more important than the relationship between the spouses. That is why the decision is not left to the individual as to whom they will marry. What is at stake is bigger than the marriage itself. In our society, the relationship among the in-laws is not as important. The marriage is more important than the family relationships. Therefore, in many families there are difficult relationships with in-laws.