"Love is not love which alters when alteration finds..."

On a worldwide level, people have millions of different definitions for a marriage. In our own country, marriage is sadly a heavily debated topic because of so many conflicting issues such as gay-marriage, the high divorce rate, adultery, and illegitimate children.

Yet, my understanding of the beauty and importance of marriage has by no means been altered or changed after reading these articles. On the contrary, they’ve motivated me to hold firm onto what my faith teaches about the sanctity and reverence of matrimony, and the dignity of human life.

As I was reading my textbook, something kept coming across the pages repeatedly:
“Where women are economically important, polygyny increases a man’s wealth and therefore his social position…”
“Extended families are particularly adaptive among cultivators as they provide more workers than in nuclear families…”

These and many other passages convey the message that marriage is simply seen as an economic advantage, increasing someone’s wealth and power, and viewing human beings as objects. The opening story of Chapter 7 discusses the lives of lovers among the Na of China, and depicts a culture rooted in self-indulgence that views sexual relations simply as a means to please the senses. The dignity and respect for both sexes seems virtually non-existent in societies like this.

Many people may argue that we should be free to do whatever we want, but this is not true freedom. This is enslavement to one’s passions. If a man has an addiction to sex, and chooses to have multiple wives in order to quench that addiction, he’s becoming a slave to himself. He’s selling his freedom to something that appears good to him, even if it’s part of his culture or upbringing. Regardless of what culture a man or woman comes from, there is a difference between right and wrong. No society can last unless it is based on a clear orientation toward values that are reflected in a just ordering of relationships and an active implementation of this justice. Thus, man may never be made into a means to an end of societal action.

There is no man on earth who is not descended from a union of a mother and father. This is how man was created to be: both male and female, joining together under the sacred bonds of marriage to procreate children and establish a loving bond towards one another for life. You won’t see two female birds roosting in the same nest, trying to create an egg together. Neither will any other creature in the animal kingdom choose a mate of the same sex. Homo sapiens is also a member of the animal kingdom, both male and female. But because we have been endowed with intellectual reason and free will, we are able to distinguish between right and wrong… what is unnatural, immoral, and twisted.

Even though there are thousands of religious sects and divisions worldwide among various cultures, all religions contain some grain of truth. Some religions contain more truth than others. People in every religion and society distinguish what they believe is good and evil. This is man’s use of his natural reason, and most societies will agree on certain principals as morally acceptable or immorally evil (for example, the unjust killing of an innocent person). But no religion or cultural belief is right just depending only on the culture you come from. God’s truth transcends culture and time. His truth is the same in every place and every age. If religious truth were culturally relative, we would have to accept the human sacrifices of the Aztecs because that sort of thing was acceptable to Aztec culture. This, of course, would not be good. If God reveals a truth, it is true in all places for all time.

Anthropologists may claim that they are not defending certain practices such as polygamy, human sacrifice, infanticide, etc. But they can only go so far before they cross the line of being immorally permissive and tolerant, falling back on the excuse, “It’s just their culture”. We, on the other hand, can’t use that excuse and believe there is no absolute truth between right or wrong… because there IS. Something may be a society’s way and belief, but it’s still wrong.

In regards to marriage, it’s almost heartbreaking to see how defensive people become in America when they hear of arranged marriages in other countries while our own country is suffering from the norm to “fall in love” passionately, freely engage in sex whenever we want to, and to treat marriage as an advanced version of a highschool dating system. In the one article, Sita simply responds to the anthropologists’ questions by saying she’s too inexperienced and young to rush into marriage or decide for herself without guidance because it’s so important to her. She is treating marriage with the respect and dignity it deserves!

“Love” is probably one of the most misused and misunderstood words in the world today. Most people believe in the romantic kind of love between two people, filled with heat and passion. But this is a lie and only a feeling. True love is NOT a feeling. Love is the desire to see the happiness of another, and that’s a self-sacrificing choice. When sexuality is separated from love and is sought only for the sake of satisfaction, one destroys the meaning of sexual union of man and woman. Sex then becomes inhuman; it is degraded to a means of obtaining pleasure and degenerates into a commodity. This, sadly, is what many cultures practice and promote.

Romantic love is NOT the means towards a successful marriage, no matter what culture the couple comes from. Marriage should never be seen solely as a monetary gain, an advantage up the social ladder, an opportunity for unlimited sex, something to just “try out and see if it works”, or as a dominating role over a spouse. Polygamy is a series of non-binding love affairs that never arrive at one, great, irrevocable commitment; homosexuality perverts human beings’ natural relations between a man and woman, and degrades marriage by twisting a bond of love to suit one’s personal (or mental) tastes.

The most beautiful form of love on earth is the love between man and woman, in which two people give themselves to each other forever. Only committed, enduring love in marriage creates a space for sexuality that is experienced in a human way and brings lasting happiness… AND the good of society!

I know there are many people who will disagree with me on this issue. One of the great battles of debate is that there will always be radically enthusiastic, eloquent, and even good people on both sides. But when it comes to morality and the dignity of human beings, there are indissoluble and unwavering truths that we can learn through reason, faith, conscience, and love.